Redemption
by K3YBL4D3 4DDIC7
Summary: After the incident at the Shrieking Shack, Remus becomes isolated from his peers. Can the Marauders save their friendship, and maybe a little something more, in time, or is it already to late? SR and possibly a little JL later.
1. Prolouge

Disclaimer: The characters in this story, at least so far, do not belong to me, and, unforunately, never will. T-T So depressing. And you people better be happy, because this is the second time I've had to write this.

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"Snape snuck into the Shrieking Shack. He knows you're a werewolf."

Those two sentences numbed Remus' whole body. His shoulders slumped, his mind shut down. James, who was sitting next his obscenely clean hospital bed, sat uncomfortably as Remus stared at him.

"How?"

James was shocked out of his own stupor as Remus whispered that word. He looked back to find that Remus was no longer staring at him, but instead at the blinding white sheets covering his bandaged legs.

"Um, well, you see... Sirius, he well, he was in a kinda bad mood last night, as you had seen, and remember how he had left before you had? Well, he had kinda gone to Hogsmeade and gotten his hands on some firewhiskey and got a bit drunk, and well, when he got back he ran into Snape, and well, Snape got him really mad, and... he let it slip."

James, who had been avoiding Remus' gaze throughout the retelling, even though it hadn't been on him, now looked up to find Remus in almost the exact position he had been in before. If he hadn't have known better, James would've thought he was. But he could see the tenseness in Remus' shoulders and his hands now clenched on those stark white bed sheets they both were really starting to hate.

"Remus?" James whispered, reaching out to touch his shoulder, but when Remus felt a hand on his shoulder, he flinched, jerking it away.

One would think that thoughts would be racing through Remus' head, but in fact, it was empty except for one sentence. Unfortunately, it was that one sentence that was tearing him apart.

"'He let it slip'?" Remus asked, finally turning his gaze to his friend again.

James winced. Remus' eyes were so cold and distant and... lifeless. It literally pained him to comfirm the horrible statement that he knew was killing his friend inside. Remus returned his gaze to his covered knees; all but forgetting James was there. After a while, James stood up and left the Hospital Wing, knowing that Remus would want some time alone.

Remus barely registered the fact that James' presence was gone and that the door leading out into the hall had just slammed shut as it always did when he burst into tears, pulling his knees up to his chest. He curled his arms around his legs and settled his head on the little indent between his kneecaps, letting the silent tears stain those now soiled sheets.

Out in the hall, James couldn't hear Remus cry, as Remus never seemed to cry loudly, or do anything too loud for that matter, but that made it all the more deafening.


	2. Confessions

Disclaimer: Once again, not mine. Enjoy. Please Rate.

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It was now three weeks since that incident, and Remus had not spoken to any of the other Marauders in that period. He hadn't spoken to anyone, really. Rather than sitting in the back of the classrooms like he used to with the rest of the Maurauders, he sat at the very front, focusing all his attention on taking notes or performing a spell. During his free time, Remus always retreated to the library. He seldom came to meals, and when he did, he sat at the end of the table, leaving as soon as he was finished.

Sirius wasn't faring much better. Instead of focusing more on his studies, he skipped class often and slept most of the time he was in class. He had been pretty much shunned by James and Peter for the first week, but they forgave him enough to hang out with him after a while.

But that wasn't what was hurting him the most. Remus would never look at him, and everytime he brushed past him in the halls or saw him in class or the Great Hall, Sirius would feel a shot of pain through his chest. He never got any sleep anymore, as at night he would watch Remus sleep, wishing for all it was worth that Remus would forgive him.

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Remus sat at his usual spot in the library, halfheartedly reading the giant tome in front of him. His movements were all mechanical, his gaze blank as he stared at the same paragraph he had been reading for half an hour. He felt someone sit next to him and looked up into blazing emerald eyes. His brow furrowed as he wondered why Lily Evans was sitting next to him. Sure, he had been friendly with her and had even had several study sessions and many pleasant conversations with her, but it weren't as if they were best friends.

_Sirius used to be my best friend_, he mused, but immediately pushed that thought to the back of his mind when he felt a jolt of pain resound through his chest.

"Hello, Lily," he greeted, returning to his book.

"Remus, this is getting ridiculous. It's been three weeks since you last talked to anybody; it's time to come out of your shell. I know Sirius did something bad-"

At this point, Remus gave a hollow, slightly bitter laugh. Lily was taken back. She had never seen Remus like this.

"You don't get it Lily," he said, a sardonic smile lifting the corners of his mouth. His eyes were hidden in the fringe covering his face. "You don't get just how 'bad' it is." He paused here, and just as Lily was about to speak again, he whispered in a barely audible voice, "He promised.

"He promised he wouldn't tell anyone, no matter what."

"Tell anyone what?" Lily asked in a comforting voice, resting a hand on his shoulder. Remus looked back up at her, his eyes guarded, and said, "That I'm a werewolf."

Remus expected Lily to pull away, to gasp, to run away screaming, anything other that what she did. Instead of any of those things, she just nodded, urging him to continue. Remus lowered his gaze again, and continued with his monolouge.

"Him, James, and Peter found out in third year, and they stayed my friends even with the curse I have. I was grateful to each and every one of them, but Sirius, he was different. Instead of just accepting the fact and staying by my side, which was amazing in itself, he wasn't satisfied. He tried to find a way to help me during the full moons.

"Several months later, he did. He found a book describing the process of how to become an animagus, and convinced the others to do it also. It took over a year, but they did it. That brought us all closer, but again, Sirius was different. I felt a certain connection with him, and it was in fifth year that I realized that... I loved him.

"But then he told Snape how to find me during the full moon. He betrayed my trust. But do you know what the worst part is?"

Remus looked back up at Lily, that ironic smile back on his face. "I can't hate him. No matter how much I want to, no matter how much it hurts, I can't hate him. I love him too much..."

Lily pulled Remus down into a hug, and Remus couldn't help it. Tears burst from their dams, pouring down his face. He clutched to Lily as if she was his last salvation. She rubbed his back comfortingly. Who knew that Remus- quiet, studious, kind Remus- had gone through all that?

After a while, Remus pulled back, wiping his eyes on his sleeve. They both got up to leave, thankful that it wasn't a weekday.

"Lily?" Remus quietly inquired as they were heading towards the Common Room.

"Yes Remus?" Lily asked, turning her head to look at him.

"Please don't tell anyone," he pleaded. Lily mused for a second that he looked like a lost little puppy, and agreed. How could she not? After several more minutes, Remus asked again, "Lily?"

"Yes Remus?" she replied once more.

"Thanks."

"You're welcome Remus."


End file.
